Sinus Surgery again

Hannah is headed for sinus surgery #5.  Her first surgery was the first playoff game between the Reds and Philadelphia, you know the no hitter in 2010.  I will never forget her first surgery because of that little baseball fact.  Children's didn't carry whatever channel it was so my brother and I watched ESPN and kept seeing the updates scroll across the screen.  Poor Tommy was so disturbed by the no hitter.

It's a two hour surgery so you have plenty of time to sit and worry or eat in the cafeteria you know like chocolate and stuff :) 

# 5 and I'm still going to worry about it.  Her CT scan was pretty awful this time and she just had surgery in October.  CF stinks I'm trying not to say sucks anymore or I swear to God.  Wish me luck.

Let's see #1 was October 6, 2010, #2 was February 13, 2012, #3 was February 27, 2012 he couldn't get into one side to get it cleaned out opening was too small, #4 October 24, 2012 and sometime in June after school will be #5.  Sad thing is she has been having severe sinus pain off and on since March.

What a strong, amazing wonderful little girl!  Never complains just does her stuff and keeps on going.

Irons and Wrinkles

On the way home from Easter services, Hannah asks from the backseat "If an iron takes wrinkles out, will it work on the wrinkles on your face?" or something close to that.  Anyway, I said I wish. She is so funny.  She says stuff like that all the time.  She gives me so much joy.  I can't imagine life without her.  She is going to be heart broken when her Tommy leaves for college in the fall.

Our entire family, uncle Marvin included dedicate ourselves to keeping that child healthy.  CF stinks and we see how it is affects her more and more everyday.  I know she is amazingly healthy for CF patients but I've seen little changes like last night after softball she said she started coughing and couldn't stop almost threw up and she can't catch her breathe when that happens.  Shortness of breath is the most noticeable change along with fatigue.  She was so tired after practice.  She often comes home after school and sleeps till dinner.

I hate this stupid disease. 

Diabetes Doc

Hannah went to the endocrinologist today.  Her blood sugars are much improved.  Changed her insulin doses around a little because she is having lows at certain times of day.  Her weight is steady around 145 and she is 5' 3.25". My amazing CF child with weight in the 95th percentile and height in the 70s.

I love this picture, the sun was in her eyes and then she fell asleep.

I have a job interview and I hate google sites

I have pictures on the website that just randomly disappear.  The header was gone today.  What the heck?
Happens all the time.  Then there are the blank areas I can't get rid of and can't find anything in help that tells me how.  I only looked at the home page today I'm afraid to look at the other pages.

Finally, I have a job interview.  I hope I don't mess it up.  My self-esteem is gone, my confidence is gone and I can't remember anything 2 seconds after I see or hear it.  I think about all the people I helped get a job or get promoted and only a couple have given me leads in two years.  Vendors I had treat me like I have the plague.  I will admit that I was depressed for months and wouldn't talk to anyone or go anywhere but come on guys give me a break.  I hope that all my deserters are never in this position I wouldn't wish the last 22 months of my life on anyone.  Well maybe 4 men, GS, JP 1 & 2, and DS.  What goes around comes around.  God has a way of taking care of things.

Going to see my dad this weekend hope the snow holds off.

Wow

I know I said I was going to bed.  Since I have been living in a fog for two years, I never checked the stats on our blog.  Wow we get many page views.  I need to write more for your entertainment!  And info on Hannah.

Did I just hear Hannah cough

I wish I could just not notice every single time Hannah coughs.  Drives me crazy. I stop whatever I am doing to listen and then the little voice in my head starts to ask: is this just a normal cough that normal people get or is it the start of some nasty CF cough an infection, more antibiotics, hospital all the stuff going through my head.  By the way, that is the only voice I hear in my head.  Well I just heard that cough and she is really tired AND she says her belly hurts.  Hopefully, it is nothing.

I have been in a really bad mood today.  Rain maybe.  No job.  I don't know.  I guess I will just go to bed.

Unemployment Stinks

I've been unemployed since May 2011.  I have no respect for the people I once worked for.  Especially one that claimed to be my friend.  I am not consumed with hatred anymore but I would love to see him just once more.

Anyway, things are really, really tough right now.  I made my first trip to the food bank a very humbling experience, especially for Tommy.  We are two months behind on our house payment.  Did I mention I hate Bank of America.  You are threatening foreclosure on someone's house but you won't return their phone calls.  My unemployment ran out in December.  All those years all that experience means nothing.

I pray I find something soon.  I decided God was mad at me so I've been going to Church so He can tell me to my face :)  I love Church not sure why I stopped going.  I'm sure depression had something to do with that.